STEREOPHONICS are taking a mad March spin round the nation's arenas next year. First up is Newcastle on the 1st then it's Glasgow,

Nottingham, Birmingham, Manchester and Sheffield before a closer at London's O2 on the 10th.

LADY GAGA knows the show must go on.

Last week she and KANYE WEST axed their joint US tour without explanation. It now seems the decision came from Kanye's side - because Lady G is planning solo November dates.

Who needs Kanye West anyway?

N-DUBZ's DAPPY slammed JLS for being manufactured and miming. But the lads refuse to bite back.

ORITSE told me: "Dappy has said to us many times, 'I'm not into the boy band thing but you guys are really doing it'. He loves our music and we love N-Dubz to bits."

I told you last week how DAVID WALLIAMS has been asked to star in MIKA's next video.

It looks like it's going ahead - and we'll be seeing the funnyman dressed as a woman for Mika's upcoming single Rain.

After Little Britain, it'll be a walk in the park for him.

LADY GAGA is due to be announced today as the headline act for Capital FM's Jingle Bell Ball at London's O2 Arena on December 5.

It will be the US songbird's final live UK show of the year.

For tickets see capitalfm.com.

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JAY-Z returns here next month to play Alexandra Palace, in North London.

Tickets for the November 4 show, priced £55, go on sale on Friday, from 9am, at livenation.co.uk.

The rapper's last UK gig sold out in 20 seconds, so be quick.

TAIO CRUZ song Break Your Heart is No1 for a third week.

That equals runs this year by TINCHY STRYDER featuring N-DUBZ with Number 1 and LADY GAGA with Just Dance and Poker Face.

LILY ALLEN's The Fear was top for four weeks.

MR HUDSON still uses public transport as he's hard-up.

He says: "Of course I do. I might have a record in the charts but I don't really see any paper from that for a while. There's no Bentley outside my house!"

Good to hear he's keeping it real.

THE SATURDAYS are in a huff with KATY BRAND for spoofing them on her ITV2 sketch show.

Performing her version of Just Can't Get Enough, Katy sang "without our make-up we look quite rough".

But ROCHELLE WISEMAN said: "I just don't find her funny."

MIKA has invited DAVID WALLIAMS to star in his next video.

The pair hit it off when they met this week watching MATT LUCAS in a new play. I'm sick Mika didn't ask me to star in his last single.

I love that song's chorus "We Are Gordon, We Are Gordon."

MADONNA, dating 22-year-old Brazilian model JESUS LUZ, reckons young blokes are "more adventurous, open and fun", while men her age are "usually married, divorced, grumpy, fat and balding".

She doesn't mention older women with boney a***s.

BABYBIRD's comeback album will feature a cameo by Hollywood lord JOHNNY DEPP.

The rocker - real name STEPHEN JONES - had 1996 hit You're Gorgeous, then slipped off the radar but his new album Ex-Maniac is due in February.

JOE CALZAGHE's ex JO-EMMA LARVIN has fared too badly since her high-profile split from the Strictly Come Dancing star.

She's been approached by a string of producers at the Marbella Film Festival this week and will soon start filming on a brand new movie where she plays a VAMPIRE.

A source said: "Emma is really excited and wants to go into acting full time. She's been causing quite a stir."

MOBO winner Chipmunk would like test his cooking skills in TV show Hell's Kitchen.

The hip-hop star is scared of MARCO PIERRE WHITE's tantrums, however he reckons his chicken curry is hard to beat.

He said: "I'm good at cooking.

"I'd like to do Hell's Kitchen but i'm not sure I could cope with all the shouting!"

Former STONE ROSES legend IAN BROWN never buys new clothes because he is sent so many free.

He says: "The only item of clothing I've bought in the last 11 years is a Burberry scarf. I was able to give up shopping in February 99." Lucky for some.

GARY BARLOW was the talk of the MOBOs - and he wasn't even there.

The TAKE THAT star is set to lay down tracks with N-DUBZ and will be working with TAIO CRUZ.

He told me: "We were on the phone today and are meeting in two weeks."

MR HUDSON singer Ben is in the wars - he sprained his ankle at a Southampton gig on Monday.

He feared he'd broken it after crowdsurfing.

A source said: "He was mobbed by so many women but they dropped him. He's hobbling now."

Boxer AMIR KHAN was promised a tear-up by JLS.

The world champ, at the awards to support the lads, said: "They told me beforehand that they're treating me tonight. That's why I'm here. I know they like a spend-up." They sure do.

It's sad BOBO BALDE's left Celtic. Bobo presenting a MOBO - magic.

Even better if Joseph Yobo had signed for them from Everton and sadly there's no Best Oboe gong.

Bobo and Yobo presenting a MOBO for Best Oboe. A missed chance.

MEGAN FOX claims she can be a nightmare to live with.

The Transformers star confesses: "I don't clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet."

The first two I can deal with but I'm not so sure about the last.

LA ROUX is glad her mum, actress TRUDIE GOODWIN, has quit as The Bill's Sergeant June Ackland.

She said: "She left at the right time. I think The Bill will be off the TV quite soon. It started off being so classy. Now they have tried to make it like CSI."

If you want to be at this year's MTV Awards in Berlin on November 5, enter for the FanWalk - a ten-day, 100km hike to the bash from Hamburg.

If you're picked you'll get a ticket to the show plus free stuff, and one fan will present an award. See fanwalk.tv.

LILY ALLEN has threatened to sue music industry blogger Bob Lefsetz, who took issue with her stance on downloading.

Lily, who wants to see the illegal swapping of files stamped out, warned Bob after a fiery email exchange: "I'll be consulting my lawyers."

NELLY FURTADO was inconsolable when she heard OASIS had split.

The singer used to pen love notes to frontman LIAM.

She said: "At 16 I'd write letters to him with my photo attached and pray he would ask me out on a date, but he never did."

LILY ALLEN 'retirement' is questioned again as she signs up to tour Australia and New Zealand next January as part of The Big Day Out Festival.

She'll share the stage with KASABIAN, MUSE, CALVIN HARRIS and DIZZEE RASCAL.

THE ENEMY's latest single, Be Somebody, is featured in new footie game FIFA 2010. And the rockers are making it available for download for just 50p at Theenemy.com.

The video for the single was shot on the band's home turf, Coventry FC's Ricoh Arena.